My old roomies Jessica used to say many phrases.
"I'm nice" (referring to herself)
"You must wear a hood in the kitchen" (don't ask)
AND
"NO BABIES!"
Well, now she has a five month old who as she puts it, can wrap her around his little finger, and I have an 18 month old who has me hook, line, and sinker.
BUT- many people, older and slightly younger, are staring to have more babies. What is different foe me in this situation is that I got 2 babies from marriage. Now they are 10 and almost 8. Since their biological mom is taking a sabatical from motherhood in ENGLAND, I am left to raise the boys (along side daddy of course).
Plus, for most of my friends, they have only one kid, and having another sounds great.
Honestly, I would love another kid. Having a kid now looks decent, whereas when I was pregnant, I would have never said this.
BUT
Before my mom died she told me I had 4 boys. I kind of looked at her funny and asked her to repeat herself.
"You have 4 boys... Kenny is the 4th boy... Having one more might push you over the edge..."
So, am I making this decision based on my mothers deathbed thoughts?
Could I really stand to throw up 5 times a day AGAIN?
No. Not for now. Probably not unless we win the lottery.
Right now I am working full time to make ends meet. Hopefully next year I can work part time and so that for 4 years until Bubba is in 1st grade. Then I could teach full time again.
If I had a baby, I would have to put it in daycare for half the day at least, and 2 kids in daycare would be my entire salary part-time.
Anyways- I am enjoying every moment I get with my little one. I kinda knew going in that I would only get one biologically, if that. My Bubba, my Jonny, my Rick, and the fact that they are healthy and sorta normal are more then I could ever ask for!
So...
NO BABIES for me!
1 comment:
i hear you lena. i really wanted one more. i always thought i would have a girl and so did my mom (she was so disappointed that Ander was a boy). It always makes me sad that I will never have a mother daughter relationship again. I actually thought that now she is gone then I would have an advantage with her on the otherside that she could help guarantee that I get a girl. Chris had different ideas about that. He wanted to stop at #2. So three was our compromise. It's funny when you tell people you have three kids they say "oh neat". but when you say you have 3 boys they say "oh WOW!" Anyway, I'd really like to have number four, but it is impossible now unless we adopt. But I'm still holding out for some miracle from my mom. and that miracle would be a girl. cause i think 4 boys would put me over the edge. :)
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